Lately I have been tired. My runs have not been quality. My knee has been hurting. I have not been feeling well. I put up with it for a while, thinking that it would get better.... but it's starting to wear on me now. I don't know how much longer I can do this. 75 pre cent of my runs suck. I do have good runs sometimes, and I LOVE them, but they are so far and few between these days I hardly remember them. I feel like a shell of the runner I use to be. Where is my passion? Where is my drive? It's just so hard to be driven and passionate when I'm in pain, tired and run down and don't even know why. I have no reason to be, I haven't done anything different... It's actually really depressing.... I remember running hills with Mike, Vicky and Josh before the Dick's Cross Country Challenge. I felt like gold, so much energy, I just dug into the black top and gave it my all - I felt so alive and exited to be so...
What happened to me? I don't even want to run anymore. I actually don't want to do much of anything.... Except go to walmart, buy all the seasons of Friends and a big bag of potato chips and sit and watch Friends and eat chips. But of course then I wouldn't get anything done and id be fat and un healthy and that would make me even more depressed, so clearly that is not the answer to my problem... I just don't know how to go back - I feel like going solo for a while might help - no pressure to run faster, just run for me and that's it. Maybe I will try that - I could go to the doctor and have them tell me not to run for twelve weeks, but I have a marathon to run in 24 days... I just want a quick fix, I don't care if it's having them drain my knee with a needle, I don't care really what it is or how much it hurts I just want it fixed. and fast.
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