Last weekend was the 22 mile Euro trail adventure race around lake
Geneva. I had a rough couple weeks before the race, but really thought
things were looking up. I have just been fighting exhaustion and pain
and injury for a wile now, and i'm just tired of it. However - I thought
I was doing better, I had a couple of decent runs, I had upped my
protein a LOT and I though I had more energy and just felt better over
all.
So, Friday, driving up to Lake Geneva I had no idea what was in
store for me............
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| Deb taping up for the run...We need help... |
My sister & I, her husband and my boyfriend stayed in a
2 bedroom suit with a living room and kitchen... it was really nice - I
would stay their again - it was called the Cove of Lake Geneva and
happened to be right next to the start line.
That night we got our race
packets and went to bed around 10pm. I got up and ate my regular pre race
meal - coffee and BP&J - I felt rested for the most part, I felt
that I had slept well. I remembered all my race gear, so things were
looking good. I ran in my Brooks Pure Grit trail shoes. We headed out to the start and met up with another runner.
I decided to let him use my watch because he had forgotten his, I
thought it would be good - less pressure to keep a certain pace for me.
The weather was good, over cast about 55 degrees at 8am - Turns out running with out a watch for a whole race really sucks... But hey, live and learn....
 |
| The Rout |
 |
| Glad I don't have to mow that grass. |
One annoyance
was
the May flies had hatched and happened to be just about every where.
I ate several of them on accident of course - One of them also flew in
my eye in the fashion of a kamikaze fighter plane. I wonder if he died
in my eyes water with the promise of 10 may fly Virginians....That last part can be credited to Judah.... I didn't think of that. Anyhow, The trail
was less of a trail than I thought it was going to be.
We quite
literally ran around the entirety of Lake Geneva - right through the
back yard of the HUGE houses on Lake Geneva.
 |
| So tired.... |
 |
| I wanted to stay.... and sleep. |
 |
| Death by running.... |
I ran on more surfaces then
I think I ever have - squishy grass, dirt, gravel, brick, cement, black
top, big circle stones, little square stones, cool old brick, new brick, different stone walk
ways.... It was annoying when a super awesome nice house didn't have a nice walk way for us....but a smaller less impressive one made an effort to have a nice path. We had to open gates, duck under boats, jump over hoses, avoid
dogs, go around land scapers through a golf course... It was
interesting. 4 of the 5 water stops consisted of a card table out along the rout with a sign that said "Euro Race" and a pile of water bottles on top of it.... Debi has been having IT Band problems - she said she was
going to take it easy... but then she saw all the people in front of us
and seemed to want to pass them - ALL of them. She ended up having
horrible pain around mile 3 and we thought she wouldn't be able to make
it. I ended up feeling AWFUL around mile 5, so we ended up walking A
LOT - it was depressing. I was just tired. REALLY tired. and everything hurt. I was so sick of moving one leg in
front of the other OVER AND OVER AGAIN. As I was running just around
mile 7 or so - it felt like mile 25.... So sad....
I was hoping to trip on a root
and twist my ankle so I wouldn't be 
able to run any more, or maybe I
would mis step on one of the stones and my foot would fall between 2 of
them and twist my ankle and then I wouldn't have to run anymore... We
passed the half marathon finish line where I figured Judah had ran
through many hours ago (even though I had only been running for about
1:50 at that point) I also considered just stopping at the half marathon
mark... but Debi wouldn't let me. She was a cruel ruthless slave driver.
After that the next time I couldn't run anymore and we walked I told
debi to just go ahead and I would go to the road and get Judah to pick
me up - She rudely refused me that as well and we continued on.
I hated
running so much at this point, I wanted to curl up and sleep and never
run again.... SO TIRED. Since I could not mentally handle running for
too long at a time and Debi was making sure to stretch her IT band when
we stopped to walk... we decided to have a little fun, take pictures of
stuff... the houses... me dieing... stuff like that... We finally got
to around mile 18 and my brain finally gave in to the fact that I was
going to finish the race one way or another -whether I liked it or not,
whether it killed me or not... I would finish. It was not a happy
realization like It should have been - it felt like a death sentence -
It's strange that I thought this as I realized that I would finish
somehow, but it was a hopeless feeling - that I would have to go through
4 more horrible miles - I imagined that the feeling was similar to the
feeling of someone who had just realized that they were going to die,
gave up fighting and just let it happen. I really should have felt quite
the opposite, but I felt like running anymore was practically
equivalent to death. I did finish - in over 4 hours - worse then my last
marathon time. but I did finish. And I'm glad I didn't quit. I felt
utterly defeated though, but quitting would have been worse. My finish
photo pretty much told the story, I looked every bit as misriable as I
felt. My parents were their though with Matilda my dog and Matt &
Judah were waiting for us to finish as well. I was glad to be done. We
went to Geno's East for the pizza dinner after and awards. Turns out I
was first in my age group - but that was only because I was the only one
in my age group. I was 10th to last in the race... My one claim to fame
was when the announcer announced our 22 mile Euro race as the race "the
crazy people" ran. So at least I have that.
I should have felt good. It shouldn't have been so hard. It should have
been a fun run because of the cool terrain and the awesome houses... It
should have..... I should have.... but it wasn't. ... and I didn't.
I remember making the training schedule - thinking that with all these
20+ mile runs it would be easier towards the end. It isn't. Thinking
that 20+ miles wouldn't seem so hard or so long, but it does. I feel
like I have broken my spirit to run. Like a horse, if you train it too
hard and are too tough on it when you first train it you break it's
spirit - Break it, not MAKE it - and it is just a boring old broken down
horse after that... the sparkle in it's eye is gone, it dosen't flinch
when struck with a whip, it just dosen't care anymore....
I just didn't
want to run anymore .
 |
All for this?
|
I ran on more surfaces then
I think I ever have - squishy grass, dirt, gravel, brick, cement, black
top, big circle stones, little square stones, cool old brick, new brick, different stone walk
ways.... It was annoying when a super awesome nice house didn't have a nice walk way for us....but a smaller less impressive one made an effort to have a nice path. We had to open gates, duck under boats, jump over hoses, avoid
dogs, go around land scapers through a golf course... It was
interesting. 4 of the 5 water stops consisted of a card table out along the rout with a sign that said "Euro Race" and a pile of water bottles on top of it.... Debi has been having IT Band problems - she said she was
going to take it easy... but then she saw all the people in front of us
and seemed to want to pass them - ALL of them. She ended up having
horrible pain around mile 3 and we thought she wouldn't be able to make
it. I ended up feeling AWFUL around mile 5, so we ended up walking A
LOT - it was depressing. I was just tired. REALLY tired. and everything hurt. I was so sick of moving one leg in
front of the other OVER AND OVER AGAIN. As I was running just around
mile 7 or so - it felt like mile 25.... So sad....
I was hoping to trip on a root
and twist my ankle so I wouldn't be 
able to run any more, or maybe I
would mis step on one of the stones and my foot would fall between 2 of
them and twist my ankle and then I wouldn't have to run anymore... We
passed the half marathon finish line where I figured Judah had ran
through many hours ago (even though I had only been running for about
1:50 at that point) I also considered just stopping at the half marathon
mark... but Debi wouldn't let me. She was a cruel ruthless slave driver.
After that the next time I couldn't run anymore and we walked I told
debi to just go ahead and I would go to the road and get Judah to pick
me up - She rudely refused me that as well and we continued on. I hated
running so much at this point, I wanted to curl up and sleep and never
run again.... SO TIRED. Since I could not mentally handle running for
too long at a time and Debi was making sure to stretch her IT band when
we stopped to walk... we decided to have a little fun, take pictures of
stuff... the houses... me dieing... stuff like that... We finally got
to around mile 18 and my brain finally gave in to the fact that I was
going to finish the race one way or another -whether I liked it or not,
whether it killed me or not... I would finish. It was not a happy
realization like It should have been - it felt like a death sentence -
It's strange that I thought this as I realized that I would finish
somehow, but it was a hopeless feeling - that I would have to go through
4 more horrible miles - I imagined that the feeling was similar to the
feeling of someone who had just realized that they were going to die,
gave up fighting and just let it happen. I really should have felt quite
the opposite, but I felt like running anymore was practically
equivalent to death. I did finish - in over 4 hours - worse then my last
marathon time. but I did finish. And I'm glad I didn't quit. I felt
utterly defeated though, but quitting would have been worse. My finish
photo pretty much told the story, I looked every bit as misriable as I
felt. My parents were their though with Matilda my dog and Matt &
Judah were waiting for us to finish as well. I was glad to be done. We
went to Geno's East for the pizza dinner after and awards. Turns out I
was first in my age group - but that was only because I was the only one
in my age group. I was 10th to last in the race... My one claim to fame
was when the announcer announced our 22 mile Euro race as the race "the
crazy people" ran. So at least I have that. 
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