The Fox Valley Marathon is over. It was September 22nd. Fairly flat course, pretty views, nice course. I can't complain. My finish time was 3:51 - that's 8 minutes off my last PR, again, I should not complain. I felt good for about 18 miles, I found a girl to run with, she had run a 100 mile race before... But I ended up loosing her, she had qualified for Boston the week before at a different marathon...She didn't want to miss signing up and knew the race would fill up, so she flew out to a race and made it in... She was just running the Fox valley because she had already signed up - it was originally going to be her Boston qualifier.
I broke up the race in 4 parts. 2 - 7 mile runs and 2-6 mile runs. The girl that I ran with for a while told me not to think of the miles you have already ran - to only think positive thoughts, and at mile 20 forget about the 20 miles you ran, and start fresh with the 6. So I tried to pretend that I had just started and for some reason my legs were just really tired. I struggled though. I got sore, tired... exhosted... my heart felt weird around mile 21, my breathing got labored even though my pace had decreased. I did struggle though though... The last 6 miles are what killed me though. I stopped to walk.. too much. I slowed down. too much... my time could have been 10 minutes better if I had kept it together those last 6 miles... but I do feel that I improved. I stayed positive - more then usual, I walked much less, I felt better for longer, I fueled myself pretty well. Im just waiting for the mental break through. I was able to focus more with out music, I have still not ran with music since.... it's just better that way now - I don't like the noise, I like to run and hear my breathing, and my foot steps, and just hear myself think. I would have been happy with my time - only I know I could have done better because my sister, who I train with for pretty much every important run, ran a 3:36... So because of that I feel pretty depressed about the race. How could I be so mentally weak?
I know I am capable of much more, I should be able to train harder, run harder, race harder. Be more focused... Eat better.. I spend so much time and effort to do this, I need to be better at it. And I have no reason why I should not be, that is why it is so frustrating. If frustrates me that running a marathon is 90% mental, and that is what I lack. I wish I could just train and get through it with just training, I wish the doubt did not come in, the tiredness, the little voice inside my head that says "your really tired, you should not be breathing so hard, these runners are just better than you, you could never run that fast for that far, you need to stop and get your heart rate down, it's ok, this race does not matter, your tired, you should walk a while...." and it goes on and on and on... It's ok though. I will keep trying.
I will be better, I will be stronger, I will be faster.
The Fox Valley Marathon is over. It was September 22nd. Fairly flat course, pretty views, nice course. I can't complain. My finish time was 3:51 - that's 8 minutes off my last PR, again, I should not complain. I felt good for about 18 miles, I found a girl to run with, she had run a 100 mile race before... But I ended up loosing her, she had qualified for Boston the week before at a different marathon...She didn't want to miss signing up and knew the race would fill up, so she flew out to a race and made it in... She was just running the Fox valley because she had already signed up - it was originally going to be her Boston qualifier. I broke up the race in 4 parts. 2 - 7 mile runs and 2-6 mile runs. The girl that I ran with for a while told me not to think of the miles you have already ran - to only think positive thoughts, and at mile 20 forget about the 20 miles you ran, and start fresh with the 6. So I tried to pretend that I had just started and for some reason my legs were just really tired. I struggled though. I got sore, tired... exhosted... my heart felt weird around mile 21, my breathing got labored even though my pace had decreased. I did struggle though though... The last 6 miles are what killed me though. I stopped to walk.. too much. I slowed down. too much... my time could have been 10 minutes better if I had kept it together those last 6 miles... but I do feel that I improved. I stayed positive - more then usual, I walked much less, I felt better for longer, I fueled myself pretty well. Im just waiting for the mental break through. I was able to focus more with out music, I have still not ran with music since.... it's just better that way now - I don't like the noise, I like to run and hear my breathing, and my foot steps, and just hear myself think. I would have been happy with my time - only I know I could have done better because my sister, who I train with for pretty much every important run, ran a 3:36... So because of that I feel pretty depressed about the race. How could I be so mentally weak?
I know I am capable of much more, I should be able to train harder, run harder, race harder. Be more focused... Eat better.. I spend so much time and effort to do this, I need to be better at it. And I have no reason why I should not be, that is why it is so frustrating. If frustrates me that running a marathon is 90% mental, and that is what I lack. I wish I could just train and get through it with just training, I wish the doubt did not come in, the tiredness, the little voice inside my head that says "your really tired, you should not be breathing so hard, these runners are just better than you, you could never run that fast for that far, you need to stop and get your heart rate down, it's ok, this race does not matter, your tired, you should walk a while...." and it goes on and on and on... It's ok though. I will keep trying. I will be better, I will be stronger, I will be faster.
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