Last Saturday - I won. I finally felt good and made it 20 miles without limping, extreme pain, or absolute exhaustion. We started out at 5am - met Debi at silver springs. She looked sad and said she knew her I.T. band was going to act up. She was right - after only 2 miles of trails at silver springs it was hurting - she turned around after another mile or so when we were on our way to Hoover Forest Preserve. It was sad, I felt bad going on without her, but I had to do what was best for my training - and I knew I needed to give myself one last chance for a good 20+ run. We ran Hoover and after a search for water that was successful we headed towards Yorkville, then on to the Van Emmon Street forest preserve - got more water at the rt. 71 parking lot, and headed back around. I really like running that park - on the way back the trail gets really fun and windy and is mostly down hill so you can get some speed going, but not have to work too hard to achieve it. If was fun showing Judah the rout that I had done so many times with out him. We got pretty hungry on the way back to silver springs, I drank most of my water and we shared a gue and ate quite a few stinger gummys. Those are my favorite, the texture is so much better than the gue gummys - they are more like candy then something I must take to get more energy. On river road we were assaulted by hordes of gnats, that was not pleasant - they were awful - I think they were able to keep up so well because the wind was at our backs at this point. The last hill going up towards silver springs on Ben street was a little tough, but I ran up it pretty strong - we walked the rest of the way once the watch beeped for 20 miles. Poor Judah was hurting, it was pretty much like running a marathon for him since his longest run was 14 and some marathon training programs go to 20 as the longest run. It was nice though - running his first 20 with him. I'm so glad he said that he would run it with me, I think that's a big part of what got me through it - having him with me and knowing it was his longest run ever - showing him what I have been doing all summer.... It was the 7th 20+ run I had run this year. I finally felt like all that work was paying off - I was hard, not a walk in the park (A run in 3 parks though) but I could defiantly feel my training kicking in at the end.
I know that I said earlier that my spirit was broken, and I truly believed that - and i'm not saying i'm 100% better, no doubt I have plenty of bad runs to come. Since February when training started it has been a struggle, so many problems, so much pain, I limped through so many runs, wondered how I could possibly make it one more mile, one more step even, wondered how I could possibly get out of bed to run again, wondered if I would ever be able to run and feel good again. I was so discouraged, so frustrated so angry. But now the light at the end of the tunnel is more than visible. It's within reach, it's mine, and I will reach the end and walk into the sunlight - not die in the dark sad and alone. It sounds dramatic, because to me it was. I'm going to make it though - i've had a lot of help and support to get to this point. I'm so exited - elated actually - that I feel so much better. I can WALK down the stairs in the morning with out a ton of pain, that's just exiting and that's all their is to it.
I am sad though - because Debi is not doing well - and turns out the 20 mile run did not agree well with Judahs foot or shin. Now I know his pain and he knows mine - that is - I feel for him and feel sad for him because he's limping around, and he's the one feeling the physical pain by having to limp around - it's very strange.
Skyline to the sea is one week away now - actually a week from yesterday. The official list of people is up and Debi and I are the only 2 from Illinois. 12 people out of 158 people are my age or younger... it seems like the majority are in their 40's. one week from today i'll be waking up next to the ocean most likely quite sore.
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